I know exactly what it will feel like the day i realize that there is no god.

The sun will shine a little brighter and i will be weightless. A feeling of peace and relief will wash over me. After all, I will have been waiting a long time for this. All the answers will remain without questions. I will feel light. I know this is how it will happen, because in dreams it has happened this way so many times before. The freedom that comes with no longer worrying or caring about the meaning of it all. The urge so just breathe out in a great whoosh and float upward. I crave the day, I  long for it. But i am also scared of it, i don’t want to rush it. Because with knowledge comes responsibility. A responsibility i am not quite ready to take on. I will be weightless. I will be free. But ultimately unchanged. Because i had been waiting for what i had known was coming all along. I will be a light to guide. Only god knows what… see? i’m not quite ready to give up my belief in a three letter word that I so openly criticize.

It will happen as my foot steps off the curb, crossing the street to church.

until then i am bound to god.