My skin is the exact same color as a UPS shipping box. Brown, but lighter o n the insides of my arms, more buttery orange yellow on my face and pale on my earlobes. My palms are a mostly pinkish hue. So even though I  think I’m brown, i’m reallhy a whole myriad of soft or sharp or deep rich colors and hues. Like a yarn shop. Everyone person is a collection of yarns all soft and nubbly or course and rough or bright and thick. And when you knit them together, all the yarns become this exquisetly colorful person inside and out.

Even though I can be brown some days and embarassingly pale on some days, I don’t really identify with anything, race-wise. I mean I feel like an imposter around people who are really dark and buttery and so suddnley ethnic around white people. Unless I’m with my friends or people I am beggining to trust, and I can forget my color completley, can forget what I look like, unable to picture my body or my face in my head. And those moments are ideal. Until someone says something about how dark I am (no one dark ever comments on how I stick out like a sore thumb around them though, which is nice.) and I go “oh yeah I gues so,” drifting back to memories of fifth grade, th efirst ime in my concious memory that I really couldn’t decide which I was more of when it came to marking my ethnicity on STAR testing. I picked hispanic, because I knew if I didn’t fill anything in, they would pick hispanic based on my last name. It turned out that the teachers got to fill in my race on the test, and I assumed I guessed correctly on what they would pick since no one ever guesses I’m white.

I’m tired and since I did embarrassingly poorly on my math test, I have to re-write the problems with the corrdet answers. : (((( *sob sob* *tear tear* 

c’est la vie. I promise to write about gthe obama rally another time and hopefully post pictures. (of me maybe too???)  ;)  i really wish there was a ways to make a smiling emoticon with it’s toungue out. oh well, guess i will have to convey my means telepathically since the gender nuetrla little faces just aint doin the trick today!

xoxo

Love,

Delia Rose.

p.s. grammy please call me I miss you!!! and we need ot talk abotu/discuss my election!!!